Happy 1 week old, Caleb!!

Caleb is 1 week old!!!

Caleb Tham Kai Le, born on 15th April 2009, 3:50pm, weigh 3.44kg. He took his first breath after 14hrs in the labour ward (actual labour is abt 10hrs). Yes, I used ephidural after being in immerse pain for 5 hours. After that jab, I could sleep thru all the contractions.

Here are some of the pictures...

"i am 3.44kg!!"

baby and me first peep (w 1 eye)

first family picture

cell photo- new member of Ignite

Daddy and Caleb first outing

My life is changed since Caleb's first cry. All other activities ceased or take the lowest priority except feeding Caleb, changing Caleb's diapers, sterilising Caleb's bottle...My mind is just filled w "When did Caleb last eat?", "When's the next feed?", "Is 50 ml enough?". Trust me, being a mother is really tough...

I had never felt so helpless and upset before. My heart had never been broken so many times in my whole 29 yrs of life. Each time he cry and cry until his voice turn hoarse, my heart breaks, yet I was determined not to run to him at the very first sec he cries. I kept asking myself why does my baby cry so much? what's wrong? Did I mishandled him? Am I not giving him enough milk? But yet all these questions has no answer cos Caleb cannot response to me. It is like a broken communication where my pleas for him to stop crying is turn to deaf ear (by his deafening cries).

Then it is all the people around me, who sincerely cared for me and Caleb. I know all the good intentions and I seriously believe they love me and him. But each time he cry, before I can evaluate and think what I should do, thousands of suggestions are thrown at my direction and many of which contradicts. Well, they are my seniors so it makes it harder to ignore their suggestions.

Alas! I can't hold my emotions anymore and broke down 3 times. I need to let my emotion run so my tears run and flow like nigara falls (only in front of Gab). Thank God for a supportive husband. With 1 hand carrying a crying baby, trying to coax him, and the other hugging me, trying to coax me, it is tough being a father as well. He is calm and patient. He read up and help me understand that situation which I failed to see clearly. Together, we pray and think of different strategies to find out Caleb's needs...

Well, it is still tough... but I know I am more in control now. My mind is clearer when he cry and I am not as panicky. As Gab says, Caleb is less than a week old, everything takes time. We need time to adjust to him and so does he. He is also trying to get used to being out of my womb. I now look at this month of confinement as a month of getting to know someone new and also allowing him to know me. I look forward to achieving a non-vebal understanding between Caleb and myself.

A big thanks to all those who have shown concern and pray for me during my pregnancy. Pray for me even more for now, my friends. This is the beginning of my training to becoming a mother.

A new phase of life - coming soon

I am approaching my final 2 weeks of pregnancy. Praise God for watching over me these 9 months. Over the last 2 weeks, my stomach grow in an incredible speed, telling me that Caleb is really getting too big for my small body and is waiting to come into this world. I have also slowly (and truly) being to feel like a mother as I prepare his room, wash his clothes (they are so tiny and cute, and they smell really good), put up his toys. I begin to understand why my mum took so much effort in doing some things for us when we were still young. Like I could never understand why she must keep the house so clean and wash the clothes so thoroughly, leaving no time for herself to rest. I found myself doing the same thing, ensuring every toy is carefully wiped with sterilised solution, every piece of clothing is washed cleaned. Even when my feet is already swollen to almost twice their size now and I walk around like a duck, I will still be cleaning Caleb's cupboard, bed and many other things. I know we all inherit this from our Father in Heaven, who will never rest and ensure the best for His children.

Matthew 7:9-11

9"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

my collegue, Envi, just gave birth last week. The joy on her face tells me that her 10hrs of labour pain was all worth it. Even when she was talking to us, her eyes never fails to turn to her sleeping daughter every 5 mins (maybe even more frequent).

Envi's daughter, Caydence

I hope the next time I will be posting Caleb's pictures. Keep me in your prayers as I go into my 40th week.