I was updating my resume today and was almost convicted that I should find a job and work for at least 1 to 2 years before I stay at home for good when Caleb start P-school. But after seeing how much Caleb is missing Gab after he started work, I couldn't bear to leave him as well. Caleb has this immersed joy when daddy is home early today (not that early, around 7pm). He just want to be Gabriel all the time.

Over the past few weeks, I am constantly in dilemma on the decision of working or not. My concern is always towards Caleb and Bryan. What will happen once I start working? That's a question I couldn't answer at this point of time. I know for sure Caleb and Bryan will have less of mummy's time and what kind of impact will that bring to them? Is granny's attention enough in replacement of mine for the time being?

Even though staying at home these few days with my mum makes me feel that I should go work to reduce redundancy at home. And especially so once Caleb goes to school in Feb, and it will be just Bryan being looked after by me and my mum. It makes me feel that I should find a job till Bryan needs more of my attention or when Caleb start Pri school. But I have lots of struggle within me of the much reduced time I will have at home. And what if my job demands more that 8 to 5.

God, pls show me the best way and the best decision. Lead me to the right way!